You Suck!
by Kirinketsu
Summary: Hilda gives Oga a few items to help teach Baby Be'el to become a good Demon Lord. But as it turns out, Oga isn't that great of a teacher...


"Here, take it."

Oga Tatsumi stared at the blond bombshell before him with half lidded eyes. A moment later his gaze dropped to the items in her hands.

"What…is it?" He asked carefully. The early morning sun shone through the open window in his room. Ishiyama's number one delinquent had planned to spend his day just lounging around playing Dragon Quest. That was, until Hilda had walked into his room.

Looking down at the things being handed to him his head was pushed to the side slightly as Be'el looked over his shoulder at the objects in his hands.

"They're for the young master." Hilda explained as Oga took the items, "They're to help train him." Oga looked down at the things in his hands. In one hand was a large book titled 'The Idiots Guide Too Destroying Mankind". In his other hand was a stuffed toy, in the shape of a smiling teddy bear.

"Train? The hell are you talking about?" Oga asked.

"The young master will grow up to be the ruler of hell. Of course he must be strong." Hilda told him, sighing, "And as much as it repulses me to admit it, you are the best candidate to do that, his contractor,"

Oga groaned, "Do I have to?" he complained.

"Just do it," Hilda retorted. The demon woman pointed at the stuffed toy, "That is for the young master to practice channeling his destructive power," She moved her hand, "That book should help. Now, get to it." Finishing her explanation she turned around and headed for his door.

"I'll leave you to it," She said as she left the room. Oga raised his hand.

"Hey, wai-!" The door slammed shut. The delinquent stared at the closed door. Scowling he dropped his arm.

"Damn that woman," He growled. Pausing, he looked down at the objects in his hands.

"…Ahhhh…Damn it," He said, sitting down on his floor, crossing his legs. He dropped the stuffed toy on the ground. Eye's growing wide Be'el let go of the back of Oga's shirt and dropped to the floor. Crawling over to the toy the baby demon grabbed it with his small hands.

"Da!" Be'el exclaimed. Oga ignored him, staring down at the book in his hands.

_**THE IDOITS GUIDE TO DESTROYING MANKIND**_

The cover depicted a rather graphic picture of a desolate wasteland filled with dying people. His eye twitching Oga opened the book. He sweat dropped when cardboard cutouts rose from the pages.

_The hell? A pop-up?_

His eyes drifted to the words on the bottom of the page.

_**Hey there! Everyone needs a hobby right? Well let me tell you. Nothing gives a thrill like whipping out an entire population of humans. With this book, you'll learn how to do just that. In twelve easy steps you will be able to easily take out a good chunk of those annoying humans! **_

"Agh, Screw this!" Oga scowled, tossing the book over his shoulder. Sighing he stretched his arms forward. His eyebrows rose when he saw Be'el playing around with the stuffed toy. Reaching out he grabbed it.

"Eh?" he said when he saw a note attached to the arm.

_**It serves as a punching bag, have the Young Master hit it. **_

"Eh?" Raising an eyebrow he raised his other arm. Still suspicious he lightly tapped the toy's head with his fist. A small whirling sound came from the bear.

"That attack was weak! Hit harder!" The cheerful voice came from the bear.

_The hell…?_

He hit the bear again.

"Still not strong enough!" The bear said happily. Oga stared at the toy in his hands. Then a demonic grin covered his face when he realized he could use the thing to finally toughen the baby demon up.

"Alright Baby Beel You're patheticness ends here!" Oga exclaimed as he set the toy in front of the baby demon, "Real men know how to fight! I want you to trash this thing!" Be'el looked at him quizzically for a moment before looking back at the toy. Crawling forward he sat in front of the toy.

"Dah?" The baby asked.

"Go on! Kill it!" Oga grinned through pointed teeth. Be'el stared at the toy in front of him for a moment before making his move.

"Da!" Oga's mouth dropped when Be'el tightly hugged the toy.

"No! Damn it!" He grabbed the toy and shook the baby demon off it.

"I want you to hit it! Punch it! Kick it! Bite it!" He shook the toy. A light went off in Be'el's eyes. Again the baby crawled forward as Oga set it on the ground. Oga watched, glaring as Be'el raised a hand.

"Da!" Be'el narrowed his eyes and hit the toy on the head. The whirling sound came from the toy.

"That attack was weak, hit harder!" Be'el blinked. Then, glaring at the toy, hit it again.

"Still not strong enough!" The toy said. Be'el tackled the toy biting it on the head.

"Dah!" His cry was muffled through the fabric.

"Nope!" the cheery voice said.

"Yeah! Get it!" Oga shouted, smiling through pointed teeth. Be'el swung his back and forth, the toy's head still in his mouth.

"Hit Harder!" The toy shouted. Be'el's eyes narrowed and he let go of the toy. Sitting back he glared at the bear in front of him. The baby demon raised both hands.

"Da!" He turned around and crossed his arms.

_Giving up!_

Oga's mouth dropped at the sight.

"What! You're not giving up are you! You're seriously gonna let this thing beat you!" Oga shouted. Be'el looked over his shoulder with half lidded eyes.

"Da…"

"Don't give me that! Like hell you're thrownin in the towl!" Oga said, a vein throbbing in his head. He grabbed the toy.

"Just beat the hell outta it!" He said raising his fist. Glaring he punched the toy, hard.

"Like that! See!" Oga said. The whirling sound came from the bear.

"That was totally weak!" The cheerful voice said. The room fell silent. Slowly, Oga turned his head to look at the bear in his hand, his arm shaking slightly.

"H-heh…Oh yeah…it's supposed to say that…" He said slowly, a vein throbbing in his head.

"You suck!" The voice added. Another vein joined the first.

"Wha…? This thing broken? He scowled.

"You're such a little girl, human!"

Oga's mouth dropped, his eye twitching. Gritting his teeth he growled

"Oh yeah!" He hissed, "You damn bear! How about this!" He punched the toy harder. A moment later the toy spoke again.

"Weak!" Oga gritted his teeth in fury.

"Say that again!" He punched it again.

"Still weak!"

"How bout this!"

_**SMASH!**_

"Weak!"

_**SMASH**_

"SHUT UP!"

"I didn't even feel that!"

"GAAAAH! JUST DIE!"

"Are you hitting me! I can't tell! Are you a man or a fly!" Oga gripped the toy as hard as he could, panting in fury as the toy mocked him.

"That's…it…" He hissed, setting the toy on the ground. He raised his fist.

"You shitty toy…NOW YOU DIE!" The floorboards cracked and split as Oga's fist slammed into them. The toy's stomach was squashed between his fist and the floor.

"Heh heh," Oga laughed, grinning through pointed teeth, "How's that feel you piece of shit!" The whirling sound came from the head.

"You…Fucking Suck, human" The cheerful voice said. Oga's face was suddenly covered in throbbing veins. A shadow fell over his eyes. He grabbed the toy, smiling evilly at it with a face that would scare even demons.

"Oh…so you really want to go back to hell that badly…?" He said in a low voice, veins covering his head.

* * *

Furuichi was sitting his house watching T.V when he suddenly fell out of his seat, startled by a loud explosion.

"W-what the…" He stuttered as he got up off the floor.

* * *

"…What did you do…?" Hilda asked with half lidded eyes as she stared at the giant hole in Oga's wall.

"Hmph…" Oga just stared at the wall, his expression the same as Hilda's. Be'el sat on the floor in front of them, playing with the shredded remains of the toy.

_**The First Beelzebub Fanfiction. Alright! I hope it was good.**_


End file.
